Jesus a member of Harvard’s incoming freshman class Written on August 22, 2008, by fangela fangula.
Several Harvard University librarians have told the Bostonist’s own Fangela Fangula that some institutions’ students have been known to protest late fees and the like by proclaiming, “BUT DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?” In response to such words, some of these professional bibliophiles have confessed that they occasionally mutter, “I dunno. Are you Jesus?” in quiet exasperation.
According to an insider at the Crimson, Jesus will indeed soon attend Harvard as a member of the class of 2012. “I suppose I’ll have to figure out who he is,” said one anonymous librarian, “because maybe the second coming of Christ really shouldn’t have to worry about returning books on time.” Librarians disagree on if Harvard is likely to flag Jesus’ university identification card so that he receives special treatment.
“I don’t really want to flaunt it, but I AM the second coming of Christ,” Jesus admitted in our exclusive interview. “Luckily, this time, I slept on a 2,000 thread count sheet as a babe, rather than that swaddling cloth in some ghetto barn. I deserve nothing but the best, and so no institution but Harvard is good enough for my higher education.”
Lena Chen, a sex blogger and member of the Harvard class of 2009, has voiced her intent to bed Jesus, according to several unverified sources.
Look out for Jesus all over Harvard Square this fall, and let’s hope he avoids all those birds of prey skulking about. Oh, and the gators that’ll be all over the place come spring.
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