Jesus and the phoenix Written on August 5, 2008, by fangela fangula.
Here we see Jesus getting taken out mid-flight by a phoenix. Jesus is holding a fish, because he wants a snack on the way to heaven, and there isn’t any McDonald’s back in the day. And the phoenix just arose from some ashes, all empty organs and growly tummy, so it is hungry too. And the phoenix tries to go just for the fish, but Jesus is all, “I so am not sharing this with you, heaven is like far away,” and Jesus tries to swoop out of the bird’s trajectory. And then the phoenix is all, “that vocalizing thing has plenty of delicate flesh, and not a whole lot of scales or fur, and looks well fed.” The phoenix would not know this, but Jesus is a lot bigger than a Super Sized meal from Micky D’s. And a lot cheaper, too. Anyhow, the phoenix swoops on in. And that is the end of Jesus. The end.
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I can’t believe they left that part out of the bible! Now everyone has the wrong idea because of that omission.
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